I tried to hook up a IFTTT shortcut to automatically cross-post feed items to my personal facebook account.
Alas, Facebook doesn't allow that (anymore). You have to have a facebook page for that. It sucks, but I get why they did it from
a business point of view. Facebook lives off engagement and they know exactly that you will see at least a few items in your news feed
if you go there to post a link.
I could obviously refrain from cross-posting, but I do have a few friends I will not reach otherwise. Maybe I'll write a blocker that
cleans out everything but the little post box? I dunno.
The last time I was hyped up like this was when The Force Awakens came out. I have my problems with the movie now,
but back then, in the sold-out theater, it was amazing. Nothing beats the midnight premiere of a beloved franchise with a
bunch of dedicated fans. Really looking forward to tonight.
“We're in the Endgame now.”
It’s silly how much these Marvel movies mean to me. But if there's one constant in my life it's my belief
that silliness is what it's all about. Going to see those movies with my friends, talking about them afterwards;
those things were a huge part of my 20s and I will always remember that fondly.
So yeah, I've rewatched all the Marvel movies over the course of 2 months. Here are some random thoughts
(and yes, there will be a ranked list at the end. Everybody loves ranked lists.):
- The consistency in quality is pretty impressive. There are only a few clunkers (Thor: The Dark World, I'm looking at you, still not remembering a single scene), but also just a handful of great ones. Everything else fits under the umbrella of “pretty good”. Granted, that only holds true if you're into this mode of storytelling.
- That's the rub, isn't it? They've never strayed far enough from their big action, massive event formula. The small moments are loud and the big ones are REALLY LOUD.
- It's the biggest television show in history.
- There was a moment post Civil War where I almost lost interest, because the films had become too formulaic. Thor: Ragnarok and Black Panther got me hooked back in. Hard. I wish stuff like that could've come earlier.
- If I never have to watch a new Joss Whedon production in my life I'll be fine. Look, Buffy and Angel are fundamental building blocks of my personality and I will rewatch them until I die, but the number of gratuitous butt shots in Age of Ultron, the general tone towards women (all to make them “stronger”, no doubt), and his awkward ideas about romantic love (“She's in love with a monster, but he's a good guy. Get it?!”) were enough for me. He also turned out to be a major creep, so there's that.
- Speaking of Buffy: The lesson that filmmakers (including Whedon, apparently) drew from that show is that you can put a badass female warrior in your story and that's enough representation. What they should've learned is that, yes, you can have a badass female warrior, but there's also room for a Willow, or an Anya, a Cordelia, or a Fred. Women with differing skills, interests, and outlooks. You know, people. It got better as it went on (Hi Shuri!), but it's still not where it should be.
- I liked Captain Marvel a lot, but my girlfriend loved it. That's the thing: as a white dude, representation is mostly abstract to me, because I have enough characters that look like me. Representation is not meant to make me happy (I’m talking about me as a stand-in for white dudes. The actual me me is very happy about more diversity.), and that's fine.
- The politics of these things, is uh, let's say, questionable. The military is full of hyper-competent good guys, while all politicians are bumbling idiots or Hydra puppets. The creeping normalization of the military state continues unabated.
- Same bucket: it's not funny to fucking spy on people. Everyone spies on everyone and it's always treated as a big laugh. “Oh gee, Spidey, you're just a teenager, so it's okay if I put you under surveillance 24/7”. No, it's not, Tony. Never was, never will be.
- Chris Evans as Captain America is the best thing in the universe and I will cry like a baby when he dies in Endgame.
- Every time someone says “Zack Snyder was right. You can't do Superman today!” I want to show them the Captain America movies and ask them: “This is not working for you?” There are obvious differences between Superman and Captain America, but the earnestness and the stubborn belief in the good in people are traits they share and that work just fine today, thank you very much.
- They should've done a smaller Avengers movie between the wars. It's a cool moment when Steve et al come back in Infinity War, but it's missing weight. We've never seen the Avengers without them.
- Speaking of weight: We need a CGI revolution. The relationship between real world gravity and CG characters is out of control.
- Thanos is toxic masculinity personified. His plan is also incredibly dumb and shortsighted. There are apparently people who have sympathy for him, which,... sighs Of course there are.
- I've mellowed a little on Stan Lee since he died, but he still took away credit from the greatest artists of the 20th Century. That's unforgivable.
- Firing James Gunn over a ten year old tweet was pretty dumb.
- Rehiring James Gunn was the right thing to do.
- I would've loved Edgar Wright’s Ant-Man.
That's about it. 21 movies in 10 years. I don't know what comes next, but it's been a pretty good ride so far. Let's bring on
And finally: the ranked list. Mind you, these are ranked according to my taste, which is subject to change.
- Captain America: The Winter Soldier
- Black Panther
- Thor: Ragnarok
- Guardians of The Galaxy
- Captain Marvel
- Captain America: Civil War
- Iron Man 3
- Avengers: Infinity War
- Captain America: The First Avenger
- Iron Man
- The Avengers
- Spider-Man: Homecoming
- Doctor Strange
- Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2
- Ant-Man And The Wasp
- Iron Man 2
- The Incredible Hulk
- Avengers: Age Of Ultron
- Thor: The Dark World
I like Siri, but goddammit, every time I ask the runtime of a movie it asks me which version I'm referring to.
"Did you mean (insert movie)? Or (insert movie) 3D? Or (insert movie) Trailer #1?"
The normal one. Definitely not the trailer. Just pick the basic version and tell me. Or tell me the runtime of all of them.
Either is fine. But asking me to specify the exact version is a pretty clunky design choice.
Or cookies, for that matter. I don't even use a “real” backend. It's simple text files, all the way down.
I could of course generate each page dynamically when they're needed or pull the data from a database,
but that would mean some performance overhead. It would mean bigger pages.
And as I’ve said yesterday, that's not a trade-off I'm
willing to make. Loading times and small page sizes are features too.
I get the impetus, though. I think code is cool, in a very visceral sense. There's something magical about programming a machine.
But a lesson I've learned as I got older is that code is not the right solution for every problem. Sometimes a few chosen words,
nice formatting, and a splash color is all you need.
I haven't written something on here in quite a while. Been busy with, you know, children. Also work.
The kids are bit older now and work is changing, so here I am. You might've noticed that everything looks different.
Well, that's because it is. I left Squarespace and created my own static site generator in Python. I'm running a server and everything.
Yeah, self-reliance! (Except for email. Fucking email.)
The plan is to release it on my github once all the kinks are worked out. It doesn't
have a lot of features and you should probably not use it for your own site, but we can't have enough free and open software
out there. I don't know, maybe someone else will be inspired to give the open web another shot? It's worth trying.
This homepage went from 3Mb on Squarespace to 36Kb with my own thing. A lot of that is the change in Fonts; I only
use web fonts now and don't rely on outside stuff. It's a tradeoff, because I really like Futura.
But some of it is less CSS overhead. The CSS for this site is in one file, as it should be.
I don't think a purely text based site should make a dent in your monthly data plan. Computers are super-fast now
and over the last few years we've spend that budget irresponsibly. Simple text pages should load instantaneous, no matter
where you are on this planet.
I broke a bunch of links. I will fix that in the coming days. I just wanted to get the site up. You should subscribe to the new
I still don't have a comment section. I will never have a comment section. My homepage is not a platform, nor should it be.
The platform is the open web.
Work is changing. I've been with the same company for five years now and I feel the itch to strike out on my own again.
I've worked on some side things and redesigned something for someone recently (#vague) that will be out soon. It was a lot of
fun and a good indicator to where I want to go next. I'll have more to say once it's officially launched. For now I have to get the
games and projects pages up and running. Onwards!
“I am not disappointed in Discovery, because it is exactly the show I predicted it would be. It’s a pretty generic, “gritty” tale of redemption and shady machinations that has the title “Star Trek” slapped on it to sell to the base. There is a tribble on the desk of the captain, there’s Harry Mudd, there’s talk of the Prime Directive, warp drives, and Klingons. There’s Sarek. It supposedly takes place in the Prime timeline. Symbols.”
That’s what I wrote when I stopped watching the show after three episodes. Now that I’ve seen all of it, I would like to add this:
It didn’t get better, in some ways it got much worse. It was pointless. Way too reliant on “oh so clever plot twists”. There was no “there” there. It was all just plot progression. But that’s what “good” TV and “great” movies are now: Endless streams of pointless plot progression, that give the illusion of substance. Throw in a a cute speech about “hard choices we have to make” and some simplistic moral dilemma delivered in hushed tones and you’ve got a winner! Sure, maybe 5 years ago, definitely 10 years ago, I would’ve been all over this shit. You can certainly see that someone pre-planned all of it and that’s a thing. It’s writing. I get it. It’s just not my cup of tea anymore. And that’s not to say that you can’t enjoy it, or that I’m right. It just means that I’m probably out of step with pop culture for now. That’s not the worst place to be (except for when you’re trying to make games or something. oops.)
It’s not about the dumb, pandering Star Trek things, either, even though they got dumber and more pandering as it went on. It’s something more fundamental. It’s the cowardice of it all. I’m so tired of it. Take Captain Lorca, for instance. They build him up as this different vision of a Starfleet Captain. One that is hardened by the war, but underneath it all, he’s still an explorer. I could see that. I don’t like it, but I could see it work. That could be interesting. So they did that and all was well.
I’m just kidding. There’s no moral quandary or reexamination of Starfleet ideals because he’s literally an evil dude from an evil parallel universe doing evil things. Case closed. Federation off the hook. That’s not telling us anything. It is empty storytelling. It’s nothing. But it’s shot with long shadows and tilted angles and in slow-motion, so it must be “important”.
Sigh. I’m gonna stop now. I’ve spend enough time on this shit. I will probably do Westworld next, so get your pitchforks ready.
If I was a filmmaker, I would now officially be in my "making experimental short films right before the big break" period. Alas, I'm not a filmmaker and so it is just Wednesday. This game was for yet another game jam (The GameDev Networks Gooseberry Jam) and I'm very happy that I found the time to do it at all, what with having to care for two babies and all that.
You can check it out over on the itch.io page and if you dislike it, please tell me. In many words. Also if you happen to like it. I do appreciate feedback.
When Discovery was first announced, I was asked by friends, who knew that I liked Star Trek, if I was excited that a new show would soon grace our screens. I said no, I am not excited. They were confused. “It will be full of symbols that will link it to the past,” I said, “but most likely shirk away from the type of ideas Star Trek was based around.” Again, confusion.
I am not disappointed in Discovery, because it is exactly the show I predicted it would be. It’s a pretty generic, “gritty” tale of redemption and shady machinations that has the title “Star Trek” slapped on it to sell to the base. There is a tribble on the desk of the captain, there’s Harry Mudd, there’s talk of the Prime Directive, warp drives, and Klingons. There’s Sarek. It supposedly takes place in the Prime timeline. Symbols.
What made Star Trek special was the utopian vision of the future. It was a world were people came together to explore for explorations sake. No Star Trek was perfect: Sexism was a given until Gene Roddenberry, uh, died (Yes, that includes you, TNG!) and flared up again every once in a while after that. The messages were sometimes flawed, confused, or ham-fisted. But through it all, a vision of the future was presented in which we overcame our earthly problems to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go…
Discovery goes where hundreds of shows have gone before. It’s trite, slow, and, quite frankly, not very interesting. I don’t like or care for any of its characters. I don’t find the super warp drive interesting. I don’t want to see a rehash of the Klingon War. And I especially don’t care about the “operatives in the shadows that enable noble explorers like Kirk, Picard, et al”. It might be about Section 31, it might not be (I’ve seen the fan speculation). It sure feels like someone went “Optimism isn’t grown up enough. This is grown up!”
Granted, I’ve only seen the first three episodes, so it has room to improve. But I don’t think it will, because a) I don’t think the show runners or the people watching feel that anything is wrong with it and b) the type of show I enjoy is rarely in vogue (just look at the numbers for Twin Peaks: The Return). If you enjoy it, fine. More power to you! There’s an endless stream of this type of storytelling right now, so enjoy it while it lasts. I don’t, so I won’t be tuning in again.
I’m nine years old today. Why is everyone screaming? It’s the booze. It gotta be. They only ever come together to drink and to air dirty laundry. I don’t enjoy my birthdays. My friends have parties where they invite everyone over. We only ever have family gatherings that end in boozy screaming.
I’m fourteen years old today. I could choose my guest list. I didn’t invite anyone, except for an aunt I really like. She’s not really my aunt, a cousin on my father’s side, and she doesn’t drink as much. Her husband works with computers. I spend my first few minutes on the internet at their place. They haven’t arrived yet, but my grandparents have. Invitation be damned; family comes first. They don’t listen to me when I tell them that they should wait with the cake. They just eat. My aunt hasn’t arrived yet.
I’m eighteen years old today. I’ve been living in this shack for the entire summer. I was kicked out of the house just after New Years. My family isn’t talking to me, my friends are busy with school. I haven’t been to school in two years. I’m celebrating with a dude I met over the summer. He won’t stick. The shack is a Laube, a sort of allotment garden between train tracks. Germany is weird. I guess people need space away from the city, but with easy access to transportation. Life is weird. Where am I going next?
I’m twenty-one years old today. I have a few friends. Well, my then-girlfriend has friends. And I have people I met at the comic book store. They won’t stick. I made this big invitation and handed it to the people. I think they laugh behind my back. It seems silly, but it is what I do. We hang out at a bar, and everything’s seems good. We drink cheap drinks and I get a bunch of comics. On the way home I misread a cue on the bus and almost start a fight. The dude spit in my face. It’s not all good. I’m ashamed.
I’m twenty-four years old today. I’m hanging out with my friends. This is third set of people in five years. They will stick. We’re drinking beer, we hang out at a shitty bar. I start to feel like my life is moving in a direction that is not altogether bad.
I’m twenty-seven years old today. I’m bombing at Lagari. I started doing stand-up comedy a few months ago, and it’s taking over my life. I let everything slide and manically pursue the laughter. It’s like a drug for me. I can’t control it. I know that I need more balance. I don’t want to face that fact, though, so I drink. I drank last night and arrogantly assume I could kill tonight. This isn’t the worst bombing of my short-lived career, but I’ll always remember it as a Moment. The host remains gracious throughout, but I know he must be pissed. I would be pissed. I am pissed.
I’m thirty years old today. I have a steady job, I work on video games on the side. I’ve got ideas for scripts. I’m firing on all cylinders. Our two baby boys, Ben and Freddie, were born two weeks ago. They are in the hospital, because they were born ten weeks too soon. They are the coolest dudes I’ve ever met. Going to the hospital every day is exhausting, but soon we won’t have to anymore. They’ll be home. I have balance now. I do my creative stuff, I take care of my mental health, and I spend time with family. My chosen family. My girlfriend, our sons, my friends. Life is good. Bring on the next decade.
I had so much fun creating the world of 1251 - Tuesday that I decided to play a bit more with it. 1251 - Noon was originally supposed to be my submission for the Unofficial Gameboy Jam, but I apparently don’t understand how calendars work. So it’s just another game I made. I mostly play by the rules laid out in the jam (160 x 144 resolution, only four colors), but I added some sound effects that are decidedly non-8 bit, because I quite liked them and they fit with the overall aesthetic of the game.
1251 - Tuesday was born out of the So Bad It’s Good Jam, so it’s a “broken” game by design. 1251 - Noon is the same. It might not even be possible to finish it; I, for one, haven’t managed to reach the end organically. I hope you enjoy it anyway.
I am not done with the 1251 idea. I have projects for Sunday and Thursday on my computer that will hopefully see the light of day some time this year.
Work has been crazy the past few weeks, so I apologize for not writing this earlier. I've had a version of this text ready to go almost two weeks ago, but life conspired against me posting it. So here I am, on a Thursday almost two weeks late, writing about my "Weekend Project".
I started reading the book, and everything went fine until I hit Chapter 2 (yes, that two). He throws a bunch of math at you and my mind just sort of tunes out if there's too many formulas. There's probably some math-related school trauma I haven't dealt with. I got through it eventually, making notes and adding post-its along the way. That was Saturday.
Sunday was when where the real fun began as I read Chapter 3. I found the code snippets easy to follow (even if I don't quite get why there's only snippets and not the full code in a book with "from the ground up" in the title). I read the whole chapter, and then wanted to get back and implement the thing myself. I downloaded the complete code from the website to have pointers for everything and then hit my first snag: He uses wxWidgets as the frontend, which only sort of works on macOS. Oh boy. Three chapters in and I was already in trouble. I had three choices:
- Develop on Linux (Or Windows, but seriously. No.)
- Make the code run on macOS.
- Write a new frontend.
I didn't want to set up a Linux environment, because I was busy enough following all the math. The second option, rewriting code from a book, is a dangerous endeavor in my experience; you create way more trouble for yourself, because the two codebases look too similar to distinguish them at a glance, which leads to unnecessary errors. So I picked the third option: Write a new frontend. I've done a few games in SFML over the last few months, so that seemed like the natural place to go. It offers similar capabilities and I know how to work it. The code is up on github. I didn't get to do the exercises, though. I'm aiming to get them done by Sunday.
But I'm not telling you which Sunday...
The thing about not having a formal education is that you learn things in a different order than most people in your field. Or sometimes you don't learn some theoretical thing at all, because it's really not relevant to the work you do, and then you feel like a fraud when it comes up and you have no clue.
I understand that ray tracing is pretty fundamental to graphics programming, and that it's something comp-sci people learn in university. Well, I never went to university. I have a high-level understanding of the concepts behind it, but I never felt the need to learn more than that. Now that I've switched my game development efforts to Unity, I have even less reason to dig into the details. And yet, I find myself compelled to do just that.
I picked up "Ray Tracing From The Ground Up" by Kevin Suffern. For the next few weeks, I will work through one or two chapters every weekend, post my progress on github, and write a little something on here. That way, I'll have an audience while I stumble through all the hard mathy stuff. I love struggling in public. Just ask the people in the Berlin comedy scene.
Well, I've moved on from creating my own engine. Things being as they are, I just didn't feel like it's time well invested. I did learn a bunch, and it was fun, but I do have a "project" coming towards the end of the year that will consume most of my time, and I wanted to put out a few things before then. Wild Sam! is still high up on my list, but I decided to do a couple more small things before then. It's hard to work on something alone without anything to show for it, and quite frankly, I was wrong about being ready. The game itself is still to ill-defined, something I hope to remedy in the coming weeks. (Starting over so soon is usually a sign that something isn't right.)
After testing out both Unreal and Unity (plus a slew of smaller, lesser-known engines) I settled on Unity. It gels very well with the way I want to make games, and there are a ton of resources. I've picked up Unity Games By Tutorials and followed the tutorials to create my first few projects. Now I'm building a small thing that came to me in a dream and I'm doing the 'So bad it's good' Jam on itch.io. It starts next Monday and runs for a week. I have an idea for the genre I want to work in. It's a silly thing and I'm super excited about it.
That's it for the general update. Expect some words about the jam project once I'm allowed to write stuff down about it early next week.
I had a ton of fun creating '1251 - Tuesday', my first real Unity project. I spend most of my time learning to model in Blender, which meant there was very little time for texture work. That's not necessarily bad, though, because it was supposed to be a submission for the 'So bad, it's good' jam. It runs on Windows, Mac, and Linux (Unity is pretty awesome) and you can download it here.