Hcnyl Divad Ton

Eighteen months passed between releasing dRKsdISSIdsKRd and Step Me Deadly. That's a looong time. Life got in the way, a global pandemic at a scale we haven't seen for a hundred years, sure, but there were also deeper issues at play.

I don't know. I feel like I should write something about this, but what can I say? The game was done in a weekend. I like parts of it, and I don't like other parts. It's fine for what it is.

I don't think I want to do another (short) jam, because, well, I've proved that I can make a game in a weekend. While that's nice, it's not something I want to do forever. But I can't disappear for two years to make a bigger game. That just hasn't worked for me. I always say I will do it, this time it'll be different, but then very little gets done. I let other things take over. I find it hard to say no (mostly because I like the stuff that's being offered.)

I need to find a middle ground. Maybe release something every other month or so? Every three months? Part of a bigger story, but self-contained? It's what everyone else is doing, isn't it? The whole Early Access thing? I've been reluctant about doing something like that, because I like the mystery of a big reveal. I like controlling the narrative. There's a lot of old-school, 20th Century creator in me. I'm wary of constantly updating people about my progress (which is hilarious, since I can't seem to shut up once I start talking.) It feels antithetical to the art life: David Lynch didn't tell us jack shit about Twin Peaks: The Return and it was magical a summer full of surprises.

But I'm not David Lynch, am I?

I'll never get to the big reveal, if I don't make any progress. I don't even get to do the small reveal. I get to spend years in the weeds, thinking about ever smaller details that no one actually cares about. Including me, frankly.

I haven't decided what to do yet. But my current strategy has clearly failed. I haven't produced the output I was hoping for and need to get back to the drawing board and regroup. Again. It's only (counts) my 7 billionth attempt. We'll see how it goes. See you in less than 18 months.